How to ask friends to pay back money they owe you

Asking your friends to pay you back what they owe you can be quite stressful. With the tips in this guide, you can make the process much easier and less awkward.

There's nothing worse than having to borrow money from a co-worker when you're stretched thin… except maybe asking someone to pay you back for the money you lent them.

Asking friends for money can be quite awkward. But as much as it leaves you scrambling, it's definitely not as bad as being out of pocket when you're already struggling to make ends meet.

With that in mind, we've put together some tips on how to approach asking friends to pay off your debts.

Should you lend money to friends?

Giving cash to friends can be especially difficult if you're a student. It's hard enough to support yourself with a student loan, never mind helping others. Don't feel pressured to raise cash if you don't have the budget.

Until you agree on a payment deadline, you have no idea when your spouse will be able to pay you back. You have to be sure that you are in a situation where you can survive without that money for a relatively long time.

Can you afford to lend someone money?

If you're planning to give your partner money for the sole purpose of showing them you care, value their friendship, and want to make sure they're okay, our advice is don't do it.

While this is incredibly decent of you, you can't make it your main reason for giving them a cash loan. That is, unless you can honestly say that you wouldn't care if you never saw your money again.

Think of a situation where your friend can't repay you and has to keep asking. This can put a lot of pressure on your company and have a negative impact. Be aware of the risks involved.

Why do they need the money?

We can all agree that it's probably okay to lend your partner a few pounds to pay the rent. But is that why they ask you for money?

If you just want to spend money on a night out or buy new clothes, then seriously consider whether it is worth parting with your money. This is especially true if you are already in a relationship.

Have they tried other ways to earn money?

We're stating the obvious here, but borrowing money from friends isn't the only solution to a cash crunch.

Your friend has several options. Direct them in the direction of your university's financial advice service. They may be eligible for funding from the university's emergency funds, or even for some grants and scholarships they weren't previously aware of.

They should definitely avoid payday loans. There are alternative financing options that can help you get your bank balance back looking healthy without the risks associated with high-interest loans.

Do you trust them to pay you back?

Since we're talking about friends here, you probably automatically believe that you can trust them to pay you back… because they're your partner.

But remember, if someone is particularly bad with money, they can have a really hard time keeping promises about money.

Do you know if they have borrowed money from friends before? Did they return them? Think about this before committing to anything.

Asking for your money back

Here are the best ways to ask for money back:

Don't get confrontational


If you really value your friendship, don't get in your face when you ask for money. You may be upset that it has come to this, but you may end up saying goodbye to your company and your money if you're blunt about it.

You obviously have a kind heart and a compassionate nature if you offer to give cash in the first place. Keep this in mind because you're much more likely to get out of the situation unscathed if you manage to keep a cool head about it.

Drop hints about needing money

No one likes to be asked for money, and it's safe to say that no one likes being asked for money. Although you may not see it this way, it's equally stressful for both parties, so the less painful you can make it, the better.

Instead of going straight out with the “give me my money back” bombshell, try dropping a few hints here and there first. “Sorry I can't go to the bar tonight,

If your boyfriend is smart enough, he should be able to pick up on your cues and you can avoid that dreaded conversation altogether. Worth a try.

Highlight your own financial situation

This is similar to the previous point in that you can make your friend more aware of your situation and encourage them to be a little more empathetic.

If both of you are students, you will surely understand that it is not easy for you to survive financially.

Ask for money back in writing

Depending on how you prefer to approach such situations, conversations about loans and cash loans can sometimes be easier if you do it over text or email.

This means that you can cause anxiety behind the security of your computer or phone screen. But you will also have everything in writing, how much money you crossed with your hands and when it was agreed to return it.

You can even try sending a money request via PayPal or, if you have Gmail, by clicking the currency symbol at the bottom of the message (which links you to Google Wallet).

Be flexible about receiving money back

Depending on the circumstances of your situation, such as whether your friend originally borrowed the money, you may be able to make the situation a little less stressful by offering them pay you back in installments.

This way you can start seeing at least some of your again. And it will show your friend that you really sympathize with his situation. win win

Add a sense of urgency

Adding a sense of urgency to your request will help your friend understand that you are now in a financial bind after giving him cash.

Phrases such as “Excuse me for asking, but I really need that money to pay my electric bill  Don't set a deadline too early, though, or you might cause your friend to panic.

Give them a little notice so they can collect the cash first.

Ask them to cover your half of the bill

This is a bit cheeky, but it can work wonders.

We suggest that the next time you are at a bar or restaurant with your debtor, ask them to pay their share of the bill because they owe you some cash. Not only does this work for eating out, it can also work for late night drinks or movie tickets.

Just say the case where you don't have cash and since they owe you money anyway, would they mind paying their share? Easy!

Ask their parents

This is a bit of a last resort. But if you're desperate and think the amount you owe is significant enough, contacting the parents of the guilty party can finally solve the problem.

No one wants to be known as a whistleblower. But when someone owes you hundreds of pounds and shows no sign of paying it back (or at least no sign of trying), they deserve to be reprimanded in some way.

It can cause permanent damage to your company (if one still exists at this point), and there is no guarantee that it will work. But hopefully their parents can talk some sense into them (or better yet, give them the money themselves).

Not sure if this will work? Save student self Jake Butler had to go to his partner's mum while he was at university to get £100 back. He talked about his experience on our No More Beans podcast.

Here are some great ways to make extra money if your partner hasn't coughed up yet and the threads are on your b.

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